Scott and Helen’s Wedding

Ender has made so many leaps and milestones by this significant 100th day of his life – just this past week, he slept through the night (9+ hours uninterrupted), said “mama” on the jumperoo while Scott and I both heard it (which I’m sure he had no idea what it meant), rolled over from being on his tummy to his back (and startled him as he began to cry, 5 seconds later after I picked him up so deliriously happy and proud), doubled his birth weight by this very same day (14lb 4.5oz, his birth weight was 7lb 1oz), and today we went for his first official Waterbabies class, where everyone else was at least a month and a half older than he, but he looked bigger than the six month old girl next to him, to whom he was trying really hard to connect, smiling and being very friendly.  Ender had been to the pool with Daddy before; and he enjoyed it this time as well.  He was very calm, smiley, and had such a great time he kept telling me all about it after we got home even though it had been at least three hours since he woke up from his nap (usually he falls sound asleep at about an hour and a half after he wakes up).  I was so proud of Ender, so fond of his personality, so eager to cuddle my cutest boy on earth, I chatted and kissed and hugged him until Scott came home, and he got to cuddle with our really good boy before we put him to bed, by 7:30pm.  He was asleep by 8pm, after talking with himself for a really long time.  He’s been excited about so many new things.  Yesterday, after rolling over for the very first time, he couldn’t go back to sleep after we nursed him at 10pm for 1.5 hours (usually he goes straight to sleep) and then proceeded to sleep most of the morning from 5 to almost noon (after another feed at 4:30am – I’ve been concerned that he isn’t eating enough since he’s been sleeping through the night so I decided to feed him when he cried in the early a.m., which was also unusual).  In his first 100 days, some very difficult, Ender has become so much more fun and endearing to us that we cannot imagine life without him.  He is such a good boy, we always say to each other.  Indeed, he is such a good boy.  He has my looks and Daddy’s brain, judging from how he sucks his fingers, just like his Dad.  With the index and middle fingers in his mouth, he sucked like that all day long and as he observed other babies in the pool.  I am glad.  Daddy has a big brain, and a really smart one.  :)  I know Ender is a gift from God, Who has answered my every prayer and every cry of my heart throughout the years.

Good night my cutest sweetheart. 

What was surprising to me about the third trimester was that, instead of being so tired and big and unable to do much, I had my nesting instinct kicked up a whole notch or five, and I got really busy and mobile getting all the rest of the things ready.  Wool cloth diapers, swings, car seat and strollers, the baby’s first two years’ worth of clothing, and anything else I might possibly need I was beginning to acquire even before I had my first shower.  Many people asked me whether I was excited.  Honestly Scott and I were amazed how fast seven months had gone by, and instead of being sick of being pregnant, we were like busy bees trying to finish painting, selling furniture to make room for baby gears, and organizing everything else in life to be in order before the baby’s arrival.  So we haven’t had time to even really sit down and think about meeting the baby and get excited!  We’ve decided on our pediatrician, pondered on whether to give birth at the birth center or the hospital, whether to have the baby circumcised, and all kinds of important parenting directions from sleeping arrangements to disciplining philosophy.  With 8 weeks left before the baby arrives, I finally began to look forward to meeting the baby boy.  It happened at a Happiest Baby On The Block class taught by our doula at Evergreen.  We had one newborn and their parents learned to wrap the baby while we all had dolls whose head is bigger than the real baby.  I couldn’t help but imagine what our baby boy will be like.  Will he be sleeping a lot?  Will he cry a lot?  I try to get to know him now while he’s still in the womb.  From what I can tell he is highly active, but he has never persistently kicked at one spot.  I’d always move and he’d always stop.  When I even gently rub my belly he’d sometimes answer immediately.  He seems gentle, sensitive, not so dense or stubborn as I’d have expected him to be (Scott and I are both very stubborn, in case you hadn’t noticed).  But it’s hard to say.  I’m sure there will be numerous things I can point out in hindsight after he comes out that I should have known about him. But for now, that’s all the understanding I can come up with about his personality.

Before painting.

After painting.

Just got back from my OBGYN regular check-up today, at 33 weeks.  I’ve gained about 20 pounds during this pregnancy.  He is head down, ready to be born.  Everything has been as perfect as perfection can be.  I am not at all anemic, in fact they tell me my iron level is “just beautiful”.  They also tell me I am “not even close to fail the gestational diabetes test”.  Another concern of mine as I’ve known people skinnier than I am had it.  In fact I’ve been expecting at least some sort of complication all along, being pregnant at 36, but I just don’t seem to have any whatsoever.  No carpel tunnel.  Not even major back pain (except for occasional achiness in the back and neck when I’m in a bad position for too long).  I’m still expecting swollen ankles and getting so huge that it’s uncomfortable to sleep at night during my last seven weeks. But so far, my ankles look just like they did pre-pregnancy, and I still sleep soundly at night except for a few bathroom breaks.  ;)  Had a couple of food poisoning incidents, though, just this past week.  But there was no sign of pre-term labor, and my doctor was surprised when I told her that, during pregnancy, Scott had had a fever for 7 days and yet I wasn’t sick at all, so that I was quite surprised how I had more food poisoning symptoms than Scott this time around (my stomach is usually iron-clad).  We’ve painted our place some sunny yellow and baby blue, and I have mostly packed our diaper bag so we’re ready to head to the hospital/birth center when the labor begins.  My nesting instincts are so strong that I’ve been giving away stuff that are just overflowing our place: an extra swing, extra stroller, baby girl clothes and lots of other stuff for freecycle.  I’m still suspecting I probably am having my last spurt of energy before I’ll be bed-ridden and just impatient for the baby to come out.  Still, I’m enjoying my last few weeks of pregnancy, savoring all the moments, and I am glad that I still have a few more weeks to get more prepared for the baby.  Not in any rush at all.  Enjoying the baby kicks as he is more and more active and the entire belly or even my body moves when he kicks.  The funniest time was when I was laughing so hard my entire belly moved up and down and got Scott laughing at me and the comical scene if you were there to see it.  It is very cute.  I am really enjoying being pregnant; and I know the first time is special, and it may be our last time, but I am really enjoying it while it lasts.  =)

Scott is also more and more into the baby now, even though he doesn’t have the hormones to help him get all this “high” that I’m getting.  He would tear up when he talked about realizing that it is really his baby that is coming, and what he might be like.  He gets excited whenever the baby kicks so hard the belly contorts and moves like a tidal wave.  He is amused by other babies and finds them cute and adorable just like I would be.  He works hard doing things he probably wouldn’t have cared so much simply because he loves me and the baby.  I think Scott has grown throughout this pregnancy.  Our anniversary is coming up in 10 days and so much seems to have happened.  Life continues to be wonderful, and Scott and I are wonderfully close these days.  We know that life will definitely change when the baby gets here.  But as no one is truly “prepared” to be parents until they are, we are as ready as we can be.  I am really being honest in saying that I’ve enjoyed and continue to enjoy this pregnancy, and this marriage to Scott.  We will also try to enjoy each stage of raising our baby boy, as in Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; ³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up…

There IS such thing as a baby brain, though. The scientific explanation is all the hormones are doing the trick.  Personally I have experienced plenty of examples: going to the doc appointment without either my wallet nor my cellphone, at the same time having an empty gas tank that I’d forgotten to fuel before the trip, and then completely stranded at the doc’s office since I don’t have enough gas to even make the 10 minute trip home.  A kind doctors lend me $20 so I can go to the closest gas station to solve the dilemma.  Not to mention writing checks at the post office when I have plenty of cash (they only accept cash and checks, no credit cards), forgetting where I’d just put something, and while looking for it forgetting other things I just had in my hand.  Things like that need to be documented even to be remembered.  Otherwise I’d have completely no recollection of what just happened last week.  For example, in listening to Scott retelling our babymoon and all the details he’s learned from our European tours, I marveled how I’d gone there twice, on the same cruise!  It seemed like I’d never heard of these facts and such information before!  It was as if I hadn’t gone on the trip.  I have no recollection of any of it, and found what Scott was saying fascinating.  ;)  Even my OBGYN confirms, yes, I do have baby brain, and without Scott there to hear the proper steps to prepare for labor etc, I probably wouldn’t remember a thing.  So please bear with me if I seem to forget my brain these days.  It should go away eventually but I hear it gets worse when sleep deprivation kicks in after the baby arrives.  ;)  So be warned.

Did I ever mention all kinds of symptoms that Scott has beyond just sympathy weight?  He has sometimes been more forgetful and fuzzy in memory than I, having baby brain it seems.  He got more nauseous than I was and had to lie down on the bed right when we got to Whistler, when my morning sickness was rampant, and I had to carry all the luggage from the car since he was completely incapacitated—although probably by the altitude change, not so much the pregnancy.  ;)  He has gotten more sick, exhausted, and emotional during the last  months than I have been.  Cravings for cookies, sweets, ice cream and chocolate were more typical of him than of me during my entire pregnancy – he speedily finished the entire box of Harry and David chocolate truffles that his mom gave me after I gave him my permission in the first trimester, since I really had no desire whatsoever for anything sweet or chocolate.  Sometimes I make fun of him being pregnant; actually I make fun of him all the time about that. We’ve already prepared ourselves and talked about how he will be crying and getting emotional and needing to get himself together during my labor before he can take care of me again.  I’m glad we’re having a doula.  =)  I am glad to have Scott, who is so very sweet, sensitive, caring, gentle, kind, and just unbelievably understanding during the entire pregnancy.  Very easy to make fun of, of course.  Thus adorable.  hehe…  I am sure he will burst into tears often after the baby gets here, and the reality really sets in for him.  For men, oftentimes they really get into the whole baby thing after the baby’s arrival.  It is just very sweet to see Scott’s reaction and attachment to our baby boy.  We can’t wait to share him with you also, and announce his name upon his arrival – it will be an unusual but easy name to remember, spell, and pronounce.  I am curious how you guys will all react when you find out. 

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On June 6th Scott and I departed for Barcelona for this magical Mediterranean cruise that went to Malta, Naples, Sorrento, Pompeii, Isle of Capri, Rome, Florence, Pisa, Monaco, Eze, Nice and Cannes.  We saw volcanoes, the leaning tower, the Vatican, so many sunrises and had gelatos everywhere we went.  Scott had a blast learning all about Europe, where he’d never been before.  I felt good the entire time and really enjoyed walking for hours everyday during my 23rd gestational week.  It was like our second honeymoon.  It was simply splendid.

Scott’s favorite places were Rome, Florence, and Pompeii.  I have already been to Europe plenty of times, and in fact the same exact cruise three years ago.  Next time, we’ll probably go to Turkey and the Greek Isles if we ever go with Norwegian Cruise Line again.

It was a trip orchestrated by God. We weren’t planning on having a babymoon.  But we were able to find a renter for our investment property right around Memorial weekend, and as we booked our itinerary we found out the cruise allowed pregnant women on board only if on the last day of the cruise they had not reached 24th gestational week.  It was perfect!  I am grateful that we were able to enjoy just ourselves and had so much fun before the baby comes and changes our lives.  It really reminded us of why we love each other so much and prepared us to start parenthood together.  The week went past magically and quickly.  Then we were back to getting ready for our baby and I entered the third trimester.

At what would be our very last ultrasound during our pregnancy, since there is absolutely no complication, we saw the baby having hiccups at the very beginning, which very quickly went away (and that amazed me since it normally takes me forever to get over hiccups), and we saw him practice breathing with his lungs heaving up and down very noticeably taking in amniotic fluid (and that was obviously why he’d have hiccups).  We were told that was a very advanced development, normally for a 28 week old, at 20 weeks.  That was another thing they’ve been telling us every time we go and have an ultrasound.  The last "advanced development" way surpassing other babies and very rare was his nose bridge was quite noticeable at 12 weeks; we were told that isn’t seen in most babies.  Well, at 20 weeks, he has a cute little nose, and we actually had both the ultrasound specialist and the doctor check many times (see the ultrasound pics below) and we couldn’t tell anymore if we’d misinformed you that that baby has Scott’s nose.  It was actually the first time I soberly realized how the baby actually has my genes.   He will somewhat look like me, resemble me in his body structure, behavior, and personality.  That sort of made me shudder, cuz I don’t think I can deal with myself easily.  It has been said that ourselves are our own worst enemy.  I started praying that He would, above being healthy, smart, beautiful, and good, really know, love, and honor God.  Otherwise, I can already foresee the extremely daunting task of raising a little tyrant like myself.   ;)  It’ll take a lot of love, and I’ve already felt it trickling in, filling me up. Hopefully that’ll make me more patient.

  At 11.5 week.  His side profile (left), and his tiny footprint (right).

His head size and weight at 20 weeks (13 ounces) weren’t ginormous (yes, I do know there is no such word), about 83% and 78%iles respectively.  A day or so after the ultrasound, Scott also felt the baby move for the very first time.  He smiled.  "Very faint."  He said.  Our baby is still very tiny, and will need us very much for a really long while.

  At 20 week, having hiccups and exercising breathing, usually occurs at week 28.

March 4, 2009 at 9 wks;    April 15, 2009 at 15 wks;      May 15, 2009 at 19 weeks

May 9, 2009 Kayaking at Entai;                                   Jan 31, 2009 Scott in straw hat

July 3, 2009 at 26 weeks

Sept 5, 2009 at 35 weeks

Second Trimester

Ah the joys and wonders of being in second trimester.  I knew it would be the best of times during pregnancy; it was very sweet to be able to hike, walk, do water aerobics, water yoga, and yoga, almost forgetting that I were pregnant.  Seeing the belabored breath and burdened steps coming up in a few weeks, I excitedly booked up birth classes, yoga classes, planned hiking trips, and moved about a lot more with new furniture, painting, and other nesting instincts.  In just a few more weeks, I probably won’t feel like doing anything at all but just lie there, eat, and repeat. 

Thus my second trimester began in April.  And time flew by happily and merrily.  We went hiking and summitted Tiger Mountain, conquered Rattlesnake Ridge, and went to the Tulip Festival.  I felt great!  But alas, I am at almost midpoint now, at 20 week next week, and I’m slowing down.  All week this week I felt crampy, uncomfortable, and my continually stretching stomach to what seems like epic volume reminds me that, alas, I’m pregnant.  I still can’t believe I’m pregnant.

This is what amazes me. Women all over the world want babies.  They can go through the entire 9 months on IV fluids with morning sickness, and then they have three kids.  I’m sure you have heard of this a gazillion times before, but Mothers are awesome.  Sure some of us aren’t so great.  Maybe most of us fail all the time anyway.  But how can working moms, single moms, teenage moms, and ancient moms (like me!) go through all this, and more, for that one person is beyond me.  Currently, having a toddler running around AND being pregnant seems harder than summitting Mt. Everest.  And I’ve thought of summitting Mt. Everest.

So anyway, the baby is about 7 ounces, the size of a grapefruit, my uterus is up to my bellybutton, and it’s beginning to show very roundedly like a basketball or watermelon. We will find out the baby’s sex May 19th, and have (MAYBE!) picked out the boy name for the baby, but we’re not telling until he is indeed a boy and is born!  Scott is now more used to the idea of having a boy (originally he wants a girl and I want a boy) once he discovered he can play Lego with him. In fact, Scott has already got two huge sets of Lego.  It’s ridiculous because the baby would only swallow it and it won’t be appropriate until he is at least three.

I begin to feel the baby "kick" now.  Particularly when I lie down on my back (which I’m not supposed to, but when I do at the physical therapist’s office for a short while).  It is very weak, gentle, reminds me of how small he/she still is.  I remember back when we joked about having a "dot" when we just found out we were ten days pregnant, thinking how small and vulnerable he was.  Well, I haven’t felt he is that small lately.  My growing tummy seems to stretch everyday.  Feeling the baby made me realize once again how dependent and vulnerable he really is, and will continue to be until he is able to walk and talk and eat by himself, like three years from now.  I’ve never blamed the baby for all my pains.  In fact, feeling the baby made me realize how he had no choice in his existence.  Two crazy people decided one day to have a baby, and voila he was born.  He had no say in it; but here he is growing.  Being older should mean more patience; although I’ll be the first to confess I have none.  However, knowing that the baby is not to blame and that he will suffer more than I during labor and be more traumatized made me have compassion on him.  I am still amazed by the strength and love of all the mothers out there.  Happy Mother’s Day,
P.S. If you’d like to get off this list, please feel free to let me know!

First Trimester

Spring is here!  So is my second trimester, finally!  I’ve been answering each of your kind emails and questions of how I’m doing, so I’ve decided to just email you all at once instead of repeating the same information over and over again!  Some of you I see all the time, some are in France, New York, and Connecticut and all the other fun places.  I’ll try to send an email at least once every month.  Everything is pretty much standard pregnancy pattern.  Our due date is Oct. 6th.  I’ve gained about 3.5 pounds (exactly as recommended), we’ve heard the baby’s heartbeat twice already.  I’ve had a complete physical check-up and everything is normal.  I’ve never thrown up, but the morning sickness was pretty stubborn and consistent until now, just letting up.  I don’t have really any particular food aversion nor cravings that last awhile.  But over the first trimester I’ve definitely has CRAZY desires for certain things, and then, you can GUARANTEE IT, I’d be sick of it within a day or so.  Not kidding you.  That’s probably the only thing I’ve felt I’m very abnormal compared to all pregnant women.  Sometimes I’m like, what kind of baby are we having!  Below is a list of things that now I don’t want but at one desperately craved for it (for about a couple of hours):

Rice Crackers
Salmon
Garlic Bread
Blueberries
Chop of Lamb
Congee
Pot Roast
Blood Sausage Soup
More currently:
Macaroni & Cheese — craved for it yesterday
Curry Chicken (Thighs) with large chunks of (soft) Carrots and (creamy) Potatoes — just dreamed about it last night
Watermelon — haven’t gotten it yet

We’ve been reading this world’s biggest pile of books from library for the last couple of months (about 50 of them, no kidding).  Most of the time, though, since we might forget everything anyway (supposedly my memory isn’t very good), we might read more later but have been spending more time researching on what to put on our baby registry at Amazon.com for the last two months.  I plan to work on my modules which my company paid for during my second trimester, so the registry will have to be done by next week.  I’ve got more than 600 items of clothing from Craig’s list and people from church that for the first year, be it boy or girl, we’ve got it all covered.  One thing about researching early is, while we may make mistakes about getting things we don’t need, we’ve quickly learned what we should NOT get and, as we research more and more, what we do NOT need and narrow down to what may really be very necessary.  There is so much to learn!  Sometimes just when we feel more educated and equipped to be good parents, we find ourselves completely at a loss about some other topic.  But it’s been really fun, and since we still have plenty of time, relaxing.

As far as we can learn and find out, the baby and I are doing fine.  The skull seems to form normally, the size properly.  I have been taking prenatal vitamins for five months before we got pregnant, and the baby seems to be fluttering and moving around very well (moved when we tried to listen to the heartbeat).  A couple of times I definitely felt the baby, which is pretty incredible since usually that only happens in the first trimester when women  have three kids already.  But the fluttering butterfly feeling was confirmed by other mothers who’ve felt it at the 9th week as well (on their third or fourth kid though).  And I also felt the implantation around 9-10 days after conception (I knew I was pregnant from day 1 because of my body changes).  So maybe I’m one of those extremely sensitive women very in tune with their bodies that I feel everything, even though this is my first one.

Thanks so much for praying for us.  We have one brown spotting incident and many of you continued to ask how I’m doing (that’s why I put you on this list, actually).  It turned out to be normal and just a one time thing.  We have many very funny stories to share, how I can get hormonal and cry because I was nostalgic about my first month of pregnancy being over, and cry when I read baby books, and cry when I find babies so cute…  ;)  I also find Scott very VERY cute, have the weirdest dreams, often violent (terrorists attacks) and sometimes bizarre.  I have an extremely sensitive nose, and even can smell carbon monoxide in the amount of 30 per million when the detector is placed right next to the heater (0 otherwise) and we got that fixed today.  All these "normal" things we’ve read about, you name it, I have it. 

Thanks for praying for us, and being there for us.  Let us know how you’re doing, as I’m praying for you too.  I’ll try to keep in touch! 

We are happy.

We are very happy.

There are many mornings and nights when we thought we’re so happy that we can’t contain it.  That we wish we could just be this happy, or happier, for all the days of our lives, for 50, 60, even 70 years from now.  We are so happy we can’t believe it. For me, I would have never dared imagine it.  But here it is, more than what I could have dreamed, more than what we can stand — we are happy, content, so happy that there doesn’t to be a word that sufficiently describes it.

Amidst life’s difficulties, trials, conflicts, and pain.  The Presidential election.  The economy.  Our lives have been rooted in Christ, and we are more committed than ever to live in Him, for Him, to love Him, worship Him, and just faithfully live and have our being in Him.  He is our Rock, our Shelter. We fear Him, and fear Him only.  We give thanks to Him for all blessings, and trials.  We have been blessed with much, and also have been charged with many opportunities to grow through suffering.  God is good, as always, and completely trustworthy.  He is the only thing in which we trust.  We are not naive, and we are not simple.  God’s wisdom is more than all the gold and glitter, power and success put together from the world. He keeps us safe; He always takes care of us.  The best thing that ever happened to us is that we found God: our Foundation, Hope, Glory, and on Whom we depend utterly.  We always tell each other, second to Jesus Christ, the best thing ever happened to us is each other.  And it is very true.

The Bible speaks of a kind, wise man of God, Boaz, who took Ruth in and made a home for her, while she had been desolate and widowed, following her ex-mother-in-law faithfully, believing in her God.  Scott says that I have outclassed him by several levels, but I feel I am like Ruth, and he Boaz.  Here is a kind, wise man of God who says he desires that I live a peaceful life.  To protect me, love me, cherish me.  After all the traumatic, dramatic, fantastic, and eventful what seems like several lifetimes of series of marvelous incidents, I have found home.  And it is good.

There had been worries about the weather on the wedding day, but it could not have been better planned.  I was particularly inspired by the story of Jonathan asking God to stop the sun while in battle, and prayed with expectation that God will answer. He did exactly that.  Few minutes after the photo shoot was done after the ceremony, just as the wedding party and guests have come to the reception tent, rain drops started coming. The sun came out brightly just as I was coming out and walking down the aisle.  As with the photography, it could not have been a better day in terms of wonderfully filtered light and character from all the differing clouds in the sky as the system moved and changed.  After that Seattle was forecast to be raining for 5-10 days as far as one can tell.  When we got back to Seattle from honeymoon, it was totally sunny without a cloud in the sky in the 70s for this entire past week.  It is so nice to be back.  We are kayaking again this weekend, first time as married couple, since God has given us at least one more summer weekend, even before we must light up our fireplace and get ready for the winter, and rainy, season that will surely come.

Everything went without much trouble, including our honeymoon. No crazy stories to tell. Except that on the very last day in New Zealand, Scott decided to go to the glow worm cave once more instead of the rain forest and downtown Auckland tour.  This time for the most difficult Black Water Abyss tour (we’d already gone on a more cushy tour of the glow worm caves). It was intimidating.  After absailing 100 feet, or 35 meters, one then zip line into the abysmal total pitch black darkness with glow worms on the cave ceiling to view/enjoy (of course I could only scream, but Scott claimed to have enjoyed the scenery as a matter of course as he zip lined). We then proceeded to jump into the freezing cave water off a mini cliff with an inner tube, and spent 5 hours in the cave with all of its numerous water falls, crystal formations, eels in the water and by the walls, glow worms on the ceiling, and mysterious holes and paths one should never get lost in, and total black darkness if our head lamps were off.  I was scared that I’d get cold. I always get cold; Scott is always too hot.  After this last day’s tour, however, Scott had a fever, which lasted all night before we left for home, and our entire 24-hour trip flying home, and then for another couple of days and nights.  I was totally fine, cooking up a storm for Scott, made the best ever home-made chicken soup from scratch (that instantly got him off the fever the next morning), running all kinds of errands, doctors’ appointments, physical therapy for my sore neck from traveling, replacing 3 fillings at the dentist’s, unpacking, processing all the 14 gigs of photos and videos we got from the honeymoon, not to mention the videos I’ll be editing and producing from the wedding (I used to make movies while at Yale and CBS), the list goes on.

That’s about the only glitch in the entire affair. We both had so much fun at the wedding and during the honeymoon, and Scott is alive and well, has worked two days now, and was extremely productive.  So I’m putting out the photos for all to see, but it’ll be a process that’ll last a whole week, and the professional photographer will be forwarding his photos in 3 months, so they should arrive by Thanksgiving or so.  Married life is wonderful, I’m doing all the things I’ve always enjoyed doing immensely, and it looks like we’ve already gotten so comfortable and settled in that we might be ready for additions to the family soon.  We still want to have some time simply married and doing all kinds of outdoors activities as a couple; but things have come along so smoothly, and Scott is not so terribly pathological (jk!), that we might not need to wait that long.  We’ll see.

Thanks for all your wonderful thoughts, gifts, and prayer.  I just want to put out a comment by a prophetess I’d met while in Israel, who’d prophesied that I’d get married very soon and be home with kids.  It was December 2006 when she prayed with me, and I was simply asking her about my career.  I asked if in 2 years I could let her know that she is wrong if I’m still in the same situation I was in.  She said she is never wrong, and she is unusually certain about my case.  Faye lives in Australia, and I always remember what she’d told me.  We were going to visit her during our honeymoon, but she had a conference in London for her healing ministry.  All the same, it is all coming back to God’s providential hand.  It seems that God took me out of New York City to Seattle, just to meet Scott, a man of God who is kind and fears the Lord.  And Faye has more to say on this when I told her what happened:

“Hello Helen, Blessings, I submitted a note to your website, having trouble going through.
So I’ll go direct. What a privelege is was for me to be able to pray for you and your family, when we met in Israel.  Another prophecy fulfilled by God’s amazing grace. Praise the Lord!
Blessings to you Scott, you will be a strength and source of God’s goodness to Helen.  I will be praying for you both on your wedding day, I know the presence of God will shine through.
Had I not been going to England, I would definitely have caught up with you here in Australia,  maybe another time.
Sometimes I find that people do not understand the word ’submit’, so I’ll give you my understanding of it.  God holds a beach umbrella, and underneath this Scott holds a smaller umbrella.  Helen submits, ie she comes under Scott’s umbrella, and the family in due course. Scott’s role is to lift Helen to her full potential in God, and Helen’s role is to encorage Scott to fulfil his destiny in Christ.  Scott is the spiritual head and therefore is accountable to God for himself, his wife and his family, as Adam was even though it was Eve who ate the apple and offered it to Adam. If Helen sins she needs to know that Scott will be accountable.  However if Scott sins, whatever that sin is causes a hole in the umbrella, and those under become wet (uncovered).
So you both have super important roles to play in this Godly covenant of a marriage.
When I teach on this subject, it is the only time I use a triangle.
God is up the top of the triangle, with Scott and Helen joined by a spirit soul and body tie through marriage.
The closer each individual comes to God, the closer their marriage comes together.
With this understanding I speak out a blessing into the spiritual realm, may you richly bond with each other so that a ‘three fold cord is not easily broken’.
Father I pray for a beautiful, enduring marriage for Helen and Scott, may they always be able to feel your presence.  May they also bring up children in the love and nuture of a family, your most precious gift to us.
Lord I pray that your love will shine through on their wedding day, and thank you in advance for your presence and your witness.  Thank you Lord that this is your plan for both Helen and Scott.  May your hand be upon this day and forever more.  In Jesus precious name, Amen
 
PS Helen what is your postal address in Seattle?
I leave for England in a short time, and am not taking the computer
Blessings and love from Fayexx”

We both think we ourselves are really very lucky.  Not all married people feel this way, and we are very thankful for God’s perfect gift.  I am so glad I have waited, and have not wasted time on guys that simply aren’t nearly as awesome as Scott.  When God does something, He does it perfectly.  There is no doubt, question, or shadow of turning.

Praise the Lord!

God bless you.

So I’m marrying a slob.

And Scott is getting ready to be food poisoned on a daily basis.

The truth is, some people have been concerned that perhaps we haven’t had our first fight (and resolved excellently!), or not know who it is really that we are marrying.  We know.  I think I’m an excellent people reader, if I must say so myself, and Scott is one of the most understanding of people.  We know we have found someone really very special, and we have no doubt this is the person with whom we will spend the rest of our lives.  Being 35 and having dated a bit, I have traveled all over the world and would never feel I got married too soon and got caught in a bind, stuck with house work and babies.  I also have learned the secret of fulfillment in life.  Time and time again I have seen the truth of what the Bible talks about the one will of God: Give thanks.  People can always complain, always wonder, what they are missing out, the grass is always greener on the other side — if you are never happy with whatever you have today.  We are a culture of complainers.  We have not endured nearly as much suffering as our parents’ generation (my dad is over 75 years old) when they work 7 days a week, 15 hours a day, even on New Year’s and Christmas Days.  We value materialism, worldly success, superficial glamour and people, not great character, deep commitment.  Moral values are only to make us feel better about ourselves, always sinners and in need of a Savior. We truly believe in Murphy’s Law, and when all hell breaks loose, we’ll act just like Hitler or worse, because we don’t believe in Judgment of God, nor the Love of God.

I am proud to have understood that career is way over-rated. Especially for women. Even while working with Presidents of Television and Radio, Executive Producers of Dan Rather Evening News and Charles Osgood, I’d always felt unfulfilled. 

Feminism and greedy worldly views despise stay-at-home moms and hardworking, primary-breadwinner men.  Women are supposed to “have it all”.  I’ve thought a lot about this and decided that I am not going to waste years before I realize that I don’t want to “have it all” and be jack of all trades, good for nothing.  My relationship with Jesus Christ will be my first priority, in truth and in deed.  Then I can’t wait to do just one or two things really, really well: my marriage with Scott, and raising my children.

I have never been happier since I decided to stay home after we get married.  After working for more than 13 years as a professional, I feel like I’ve been there, done that, and now retiring.  I have been stretched pretty thin in so many ways, now I can’t wait to just focus on a couple of things, and actually do them really well.  Multi-tasking, by the way, is also over-rated.  But love, kindness, affection, marital faithfulness and commitment haven’t failed to bring immense satisfaction so far.

In the last few of months Scott and I have really enjoyed our summer as single people.  We’ve gone outdoors skiing, camping, hiking, kayaking, rock climbing, mountain climbing, while still planning the wedding in three months.  This Friday is my last day of my professional working life.  I can’t wait to start the new chapter of my life.  I’m beginning to get really excited.

Finally!  The wedding is in 10 days. It will be a beautiful one. No matter how all the details will come together, Scott and I are resolved to enjoy, sleep, eat, and give thanks. For all the blessings, trials, sufferings and difficulties as well as joys and unexpected surprises.  Thanks for being part of it. We’ll be back in a month to post all the photos from August 24th, our wedding day, and our honeymoon to Tahiti, Bora Bora, Australia, and New Zealand.

-Helen

There are a few things perhaps people don’t know.  Scott and I are not kissing on the lips until the “I Do”.  We’d resolved to not say “I Love You” until we were engaged, because those words mean a lot to us, and we want to make sure we say what we mean.  From the beginning, Scott made it clear that he was very intentional in this relationship, and he’d laid out the timeline for dating at least 6 months, but 6 months would be the maximum for the engagement period.  We’re going to Tahiti, Bora Bora, Australia, and New Zealand for our honeymoon–and we’re staying in an over-water hut while in Bora Bora, with the world’s best snorkeling and the most crystal clear water right underneath, and you literally have a glass floor to see the tropical fish and can just jump out of the bed and swim.  Scott has never dated before, but I have never found anyone as mature and decisive as he is, at least 10 years younger than many guys I know.  Scott has a real servant heart.  He serves people, all the time.  He is so responsible that he’d come 20 minutes early at 5am on a Saturday morning to pick me up for an outdoors trip, and drive around until the appointed time because he’s early.  For an OUTDOORS trip!  He doesn’t like to convenience people, like his entire family, and is super considerate, sacrificial, handsome, and trustworthy to me.  I don’t trust anyone very easily. There is something about Scott that makes me trust his judgment more than I have with anyone in my entire life. Especially emotionally, I can trust that he won’t hurt me knowingly, and that he protects me emotionally in every way he can.  He has an extremely high emotional intelligence, which is rather amazing for a Microsoft geek.  ;)  Despite the fact that I am 9 years older than he, I trust him more than myself to deal with people in difficult situations, and have learned a lot from him.  He is gentle and sensitive, faithful, genuine, humble, and very honest.  We have worked through many serious issues, and we feel very safe telling each other everything that needs to be disclosed and we feel extremely close.  He is like my best friend.  He is also very simple, like he said once, there is elegance in simplicity.  Scott is so good for me–he is calming for me, and he gives me strength. I feel so supported and protected by him, and so in turn encouraged to be more able to serve and trust others.  We work really well together, like in kayaking.  We are so similar in so many ways: analytical–he takes over after I get tired of analyzing and finishes the analysis and adds the conclusion for me, long after I’d already lost interest in thinking further, and I’m usually the one who tires all of my friends out analyzing things to death!  We have very similar habits and ways of thinking, philosphy of life, and world view.  I used to comment often that he is like my twin brother.  He’d respond with, I’m so glad we’re not related!  I’ve journaled that Scott is the best and most amazing thing ever happened to me, second to Jesus Christ.  I am so happy, so content.  I have found the home I have always been looking for all of my life.

I’ve accumulated cute quotes and anecdotes during our time of courtship:

Re: Thanksgiving when I spent time with his family, Scott: “It was fantasic!” 
Re: Christmas, Scott; “Best Christmas EVER!!!”

12/28/07    A couple of weeks after we’d first kissed on the cheeks, Scott seemed to have been pretty enamored.  He said that I was his sweetie, that I should not look at him like that cuz if I’d wanted him to kill Christian (his cousin and roommate), he’d go upstairs and do it.

12/29/07    I think it was PMS for me, but one time we had trouble ordering at a Japanese restaurant, he cried when I started crying.

Valentine’s Day was intoxicatng.  We went to have this 5 or 7 course Japanese feast at a really romantic restaurant full of couples, colorful balloons, flowers, and candlelight.  He said I was the most beautiful woman in the room, that I was perfect for him, that I was what he had always wanted, and that it was the very best meal for him, EVER.  I got a beautiful and the best GPS as my Valentine’s Day gift.

5/14/08 I’d just forwarded to him some article from The New York Times about “brain cookies”.  The other day during our usually long hugging good-bye session, after I kissed his neck, he said excitedly: “I have so many brain cookies now, I could open a bakery!”  and flashed the cutest smile. Scott is the sweetest guy ever happen to me.

6/12/08 We both think the other person was uniquely from God, and unusally easy to talk to.  Scott said how much he’d enjoyed talking to me was extremely unusal for him, since he somehow had always felt uncomfortable and awkward talking to girls.  He said, I feel like I’ve loved you for a long time.  I feel like I’ve loved him for a while too.  He’d say cheesy things like “I have never missed anyone like I miss you.”  “You have no idea how much I love you.”  “I don’t know how to live without you.”  He said I was the one “who made the cheese gushing out of him”.  Indeed, he doesn’t seem to be like this with anyone else.

I have been taking exams for years to become Fellow of Society of Acturies. After I relocated to Seattle from New York City I had this one biggest and final exam left to obtain my credential on May 9th, 2007.  We’d been talking about getting married and the logistics of what to do with both of our properties during this time, so I knew he could propose anytime.  Throughout much of our dating time I had to study and put in the 300-600 hours necessary in order to pass this brutal exam.  He was very supporive and sensitive in the entire process, and wasn’t going to propose before the exam to distract me.  He’d bring sushi, dinner, flowers, give me neck massages, anything to help me relax and study.  We’d planned numerous outdoors activities right after the exam–kayaking, camping, hiking, outdoors rock climbing…   I’d just got a pair of new skis that I hadn’t used.  So we also planned to go skiing in mid-May after the exam to celebrate.  

The day of the exam came and I was nervous on my way to my car to drive to an unfamiliar place–I was still a relatively new driver.  A rose with a cute little card with a cute little mouse praying was on my windshield.  Scott had placed them the night before to wish me luck.  The 6-hour exam was pretty difficult for everyone who took it.  We had planned to go and see Cirque du Soleil that very night right after the exam, so after the exam I ran out of the exam room and rushed to my car to get home in Seattle’s worst rush-hour traffic and get ready for our big night.  From the corner of my eye I saw a guy with the biggest bouquet of red roses stepping out of his car swiftly as I ran past in front of him.  Scott had planned to leave work early to wait outside of my exam center (he found out where it was by googling, it took no effort to find it, he said) to give me hugs and flowers and congratulated me for having taken the exam.  I was so overwhelmed by this and still couldn’t believe the exam was over. He was persuaded by his buddies to let me relax and digest the fact that I’d just finished my major exam, something I’d been preparing for for months, and not propose right that night. So when we grabbed our sandwiches for dinner before going to Cirque du Soleil, I knew he wasn’t going to propose that particular night.   From that day on, I thought that every time we were scheduled to go on an outdoors trip could be a time he would propose

A weekend after the exam was the ski trip at Mt. Hood. Even though it was already mid-May, and that particular day we had a record-breaking 99 degree heat wave that shattered all records on the west coast, we were skiing!!!  It was awesome!  I’d never skiied in a tank top before, or in such light gear.  But afterwards we definitely were NOT looking forward to the hot tub that we thought was the best part about the trip, and went straight to dinner at a really nice restaurant after the shower.  Scott ordered a rabbit dish, and we had simmering octopus, rosewater ice cream, and some other exotic dishes.  It was the first time I’ve ever had rabbit, and it was delicious! But Scott started to feel really hot, and he was dripping sweat. I wiped his forehead and said let’s finish eating and get out of here.  He said that he wanted to stay a little longer. A little longer!?!!?  Why on earth would he want to stay longer? He looked so hot and miserable, but it turned out that was perhaps due to being nervous.  He started talking about how he has always told me the more he spends time with me, the more he wants to spend more time with me. He asked if I’d like to stay with him a little longer. I said yes.  But it turned out that he was so nervous that he didn’t hear me!  He attempted to take out the ring box in the inside pocket of his jacket, and later told me that as he struggled to take it out he had an urge to tear that clothing in half since he was so nervous!  When he opened the box, the ring glistened and glittered with so much sparkle (he said that because of his OCD he got a ring with a perfect cut) that I wanted to put it on and asked if he wanted to put it on my finger.  He said, It would be nice to hear me say yes before he put it on me.  I said, Yes, and I said that already but you didn’t hear me… Later when we retold our story many of his co-workers and guy friends said the same thing happened to them. It’s funny to me how guys can get so nervous about proposing, even though they already know the answer would be “Yes!”

We were all lovey-dovey and full of cheese for the rest of the night. The table next to us had two couples on a double blind date I thought, and one girl noticed it when Scott took out the ring and rushed to tell the other girl about what was going on. The waitress took a few pictures of us, before we finally got to leave the restaurant.  Scott later said that he certainly wasn’t going to leave before he proposed and do it on the sidewalk or in the car.  But I still think he felt really hot simply because he was nervous.  He also had wanted to do something totally surprising to propose, but he placed higher importance to let me feel secure and assured and decided to propose sooner rather than wait for the “surprise” element.  I really appreciated that.  I think a lot of guys do all these over the top sort of proposals more for themselves and not for the girl.  Surprises are nice, but being secure and assured that you are loved and committed to is even nicer–and most of all it has more to do with loving me, than serving his ego so he can brag about it.  And the end, I still go back to the same thing I’ve said before: I value far more a guy’s true character and integrity in caring for the girl, than the big gestures and pursuit and hunting that serve more his own ego and pride.  Scott has time and time again shown me how much he truly loves me and cares for me.  It was never about himself, protecting himself, serving himself, or defending himself.  He has shown me sacrificial love, and it has been the best Love I have ever been shown.

I have just posted my (Scott’s) version of the story of how we got together. Enjoy!